Grasslandian Tree Bark Tea: Deaf Forever

Image: No, I didn't make the cover, but here's a little image I put together to celebrate my recent interview in the German Deaf Forever magazine. @deaf.forever

Good morning, it’s Friday in Golliak canyon.. a beautiful campfire crackle is all I hear over the faint hum of the western winds that are crossing through this canyon notch. I awoke early to the morning hum of Warmoth songs in the distance. Ezra is sleeping although she wakes frequently at each crackle and pop of the burning hazel wood fire. I’m close to her because she’s quite warm and dare I say cuddly.. although I wont say that to her.. she likes to think she’s fierce and scary. We're on the move again… plotting a meeting with an ancient moon on white mountain. It’s a culmination of a lot of things… the pinnacle of what I’ve been working on. I hope I can get there in time. Winter is nipping on these first days of autumn… soon the clocks will change and the darkness of 2024 will slowly creep over this fateful year of highs and lows. There’s a real poetry to time… one season connected to each before and after… like a lonely word that needs others to survive and have meaning. A phrase before and a phrase after that in harmony describe our existence. I’m writing a story and I’m almost done with the first chapter. The “Breakers” are almost complete. A little update today:

To Germany with love: On August 5th I was contacted by Micheal Kohsiek regarding an interview for a German heavy metal magazine called “Deaf Forever”. And so this week the magazine article came out along with a very flattering review of my “Beyond the Breakers” record. I posted it below. Ya know, I’ve been around in my life… I’ve had a lot of bad reviews on projects I’ve done over the years. I’ve done everything I possibly could to succeed as a song writer and musician in my former life.. I worked relentlessly… throwing caution to the wind… sleeping in rehearsal rooms… sacrificed many a relationship with many a people because of my ambitions and will… I’ve quit… I’ve given up… been lost… been counted out more times than I can remember… told I wasn’t good enough… many many times… even by my closest of friends… but, I always seem to find that fire again. It never really dies. Life is funny, the hardships over time really do mold us into something. In truth we all do suck… and we all really are amazingly awesome at the same time. I think in order to cross the bridge… you really must understand that. It’s easy to turn around and make friends with the doubters and naysayers of your dreams.. to question yourself and succumb to the keg of ale in a drunken midnight stupor and gossip your life away over what could of beens and what could bees. Or… you can just keep walking with proper blinders on… inside those blinders is the vision you know and feel in your heart… it’s different for everyone. There are small victories in life and harsh defeats.. it’s inevitable… as long as you’re not dead yet, rise again I say and look to that next hill… and turn off the noise around you. Just listen to the wind and the low rumble of the streams that flow from the mountain tops. Obey your dream as silly as it may be. Your dream is as real and as unpredictable as that mountain stream. It’s amazing and all that stands before you and it… is time. Not your enemies… not your shortcomings, not any obstacles, no, you’ve been designed already good enough for dream hunting, we all have been. Time is your greatest ally as you drift down the river. Use it my friend.

Anyway, sorry, I lost myself there a moment. I do that. I think I’ve been drinking too much Grasslandian tree bark tea. Ezra thinks it makes me crazy. She often “grumbles” when I reach for it. But I love it so.

Well, thank you to Micheal for the interview and for caring enough to ask me questions. He’s one of the first people to hear my record and reach out to me offering to help spread the word about it in Europe and for that I’m somewhat indebted to him. Him and some others. Metal music has a way of connecting people. It’s a strange unseen power really. I know it all too well myself. I’ve now become of wielder of such power, so to say. I’m humbled by it.

All Hallows: On Halloween night I planned to release the first of the 2 music videos I’ve been working on. The first video will be for the song called “Long is the Road” That was the plan. However, some things behind the scenes have been happening that could shift the release back so that it coincides with a physical release of the “Beyond the Breakers” vinyl . I don’t know yet if that’s going to happen, but I will say, the videos will be something special to me and a direct reflection of the “Breakers” record. For now I’ll say “All-Hallows” night, but if things change, I’ll be sure and update the timeline. The first video takes me back to New England during the hey day of American Heavy Metal. We’ll get to see Hadder on his Bokonian hillsides and hear from an old mage who was the original creator, the real east coast memory maker, seer and appointed voice of heavy metal in Rhode Island. The “Rabbit” video will show the aftermath of my life and the hill and ashes I once called home. I’m hoping that video finally puts old ghosts to bed for me. Life is but wishful thinking.

Well, that’s all for today. My tea is cold and my morning fire is but a smoldering ember of it’s former self. Time for some new wood. I’ve included my interview in “Deaf Forever” below, feel free to send me the translation, I haven’t a clue what it says.

Just a little more time, it’s almost done, Farewell friends

-j

The House of Hadder

Image: A video still on White Mountain from one of the guitar shoots for the LITR music video. This is truly Bat country.

Good morning, it’s autumn. For me, well, it might as well be Christmas. Me and Ezra are in the valley, just between Remrod and the red river. We’re camping here for a few days as the weather forecast is not exactly favorable for traveling over the hilltops of BOK. Generally, we like to move in stormy weather. Sounds strange, you might thing a nice deep blue sky would be best for walkabouts, but we prefer the cover of fog and clouds. It’s just safer that way. On a clear day you can see all the way to the black forest, so me and Ezra are fairly easy pickings for whygoths and rouge bizzmers. It’s ok we’ll stay by the fire till the next storm. I suppose an autumn update would be nice.

The coming of Vinyl: Well it would appear that the “breakers” vinyl may be around the corner after all. In July I released the record digitally and since then, it’s been a nice little grind into autumn. I didn’t do any promotion on the release as my plan all along was to start promotion after I completed the first music video. While I was filming the video, somehow the record drifted across the pond to Europe and then some interviews happened and soon after that some offers for distribution showed up in my inbox. And so I may have some help with the pressing and distribution and marketing of my little “breakers” record while I’m busy filming the music videos for “LITR” and “Ballad of the Dead Rabbit”. With the Hadder project, I’ve always been focused on the thing I’m creating and not so much the outcome. I do believe these are the best of times, now, while I’m traveling with Ezra.. dreaming and creating. I’m so very grateful that my waves are finding new shorelines. Occasionally I find a letter in a bottle, from someone who stumbled upon my writings and noises and it warms my heart to think something I did moves them enough to send me a little message. This first record was very important but it’s really just the cement in the ground, I haven’t even started putting walls up yet. I suppose the new videos might be the beginnings of the frame of what I’m building. I’ve been working underground so long, shoring up these polls on this Bokonian hillside that I forget sometimes what life might be like looking out my 2nd story tower someday. You see, in my head, I’m rebuilding my deck… the one that burned to the ground… the one where my full moon was. The place where I left my heart. This is the dream… I’m using Hadder to get me there. There was a tidal wave once in my life, it leveled everything…. And now I’m hell bent on returning to my mountain. I’m starting to see that that really is what this is all about. I miss my land, my home, myself… and I suppose some things are worth fighting for. How you fight, well… we all have our ways. I’m doing what I know and what I love… singing and writing my way back to the hill I called home. One little mountain at a time.

Time: Let me talk about time and the philosophy of perusing a dream. I see before me, a huge mountain. With every plateau I reach, I instantly switch gears and maps and focus to the next plateau. I’m a grinder and so I don’t sit an enjoy the plateaus as much as I celebrate the climbing. Time is all we have. From now until 2024 I’ll be quietly climbing the second of the two large mountains I needed to traverse in 2023. The first was the record, the second is the music videos for the record. In my head I see a few other distant mountains on this Breakers climb, rehearsals, the show, lights synced to programmed tracking of the record, allies and travel companion. These distant mountains might be the last mountains I cross before I write the next record…. but for now, today, in this precious remaining few autumn months of 2023… in this time… I’ll be traveling and filming. I have a few new tricks up my sleeve and this frame I’m building needs to weather the next fires and floods. If I could impart a few simple words of wisdom today, they would be “Perusing dreams is time well spent”. It’s ok to rest a bit and gather wood for the fire, as the days will be hard and the nights long and cold. Save your strength, you’ll need it. I will say, some good company does help pass the time nicely.

“Grumble, grumble…”

I heard that.

Farewell out there.

-The Dead Rabbit

The first chill of Autumn

Image: Some random artwork I did for the "200 North" single cover. It might turn into a shirt in the future.

Good morning, Friday in late September. Wow, time flies. I woke this morning to the first real chill of autumn. A strange moon out there this day. Here is a little update on Hadder happenings.

Interview: Well looks like my recent interview with Yiannis Dolas over at www.Rockpages.gr came out this week. I have to say Yiannis did a great job. It was really great talking with him. We chatted for about an hour or so one summer night over a zoom call. La to Greece. A discussion about heavy metal music yes, but I would say it was more about life and the art of living. A conversation about grief, hope, loss, passions and choices. I did my best to tell the story of beyond the breakers as honestly as I could. Lots of little things need to happen over long periods of time to complete a record. During that time life doesn’t stop for you… oh no, it barrels along and you have to do your best to not be swept away in the current. I had some moments during this record when I was swept away and that’s part of it too. A few times I awoke on a new beach and had to gather wood so I didn’t freeze and a few times I lost things along the way… I also found some things that washed up on the shore just when I needed them. Well, if you have the time and want to learn a little about the record or want to read about how a dream of a man named Mr Evermore changed my life or how and why a thing called Diamonds Hadder arrived on this earth. Feel free to read the interview over at Rock Pages. It’s a start.

LITR Music Video: So all the filming is done for the new music video but as I suspected October is coming quick. I’m generally well into my first pilgrimage of the year in early October and so I decided to set a release date for the video on All Hallows night. Halloween night is my deadline. That should give me plenty of time to complete the final edits which are pretty extensive. As I was creating this video small ideas started turning into big ideas and so the endeavor has grown a bit larger. There will now be a little sequence before the video which was something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Sometimes ideas linger in me as I’m unable to complete them all. The intro should be a nice surprise and it’s very meaningful to me and to the world of heavy metal here in the states. You’ll know what I mean when you see it… or hear it I might say. I now see this video bleeding over into the next video “Ballad of the Dead Rabbit” which I aim to film this autumn and complete for the end of the year. That’s all a tall task for me but I’ll be striving to complete all that. With the 2 video’s and the record complete, it will free me up for other things around the start of next year. These videos are as important to me as the record. I feel that’s needed to be said. When you make a record, it’s a lot of work… words and rhymes and syllables and poetry and techniques and style and music and felling and emotions all thrown together like an ocean… rising and falling from still to stormy. Each song is a swell. There’s a harmony to a record, a delicate dance. I worked on that a while and at some point, I completed it. At least enough to close that first book. But… it doesn’t end there. I’ve only touched the surface with words and music… now it’s a visual journey I’m on. Its much more than just a video to me. It’s an extension of “Beyond the Breakers”. How dare I release a lyric video or some 2 week mix of generic video clips just so I can feed the hungry content machine monster. You know what, that thing fucking eats whatever you throw at it and its always there to consume. This week, next week… it doesn’t even care what it eats. Shame on it really… and shame on any artist who gets pressured into selling their integrity to timelines and content eating monsters. I suppose there’s a place for it and maybe I just never really fit into it. I’m a visual nerd geek. What can I say, I care about what I’m creating and time doesn’t always want to play nice with me. I’m always fighting time because I care so much. Any who.. the video is going great, I finished scoring some of the opening sequence and another week or so of midnight slo motion post production clips should get me into some final editing around the time I’m packing for my first trip with Ezra this autumn. My first pilgrimage to white mountain in early October should break up the editing workload, which can be a blessing really as it will give me some perspective on that what I’ve done to date while I’m traveling. I generally return from these trips with an overwhelming amount of ideas and I'm sure the same will happen again this year. Lots of little things you hear on the breakers record perhaps came during these travels. Sometimes even a phrase or word movement is enough to shift the tide of a song and these pilgrimages prove fruitful and invaluable in that regard. I’m hoping they do the same for this video. Another reason why I think it’s best sometimes not to rush into things… perspective sometimes needs just a little time to set in. At least it does for me.

Well that’s it for today. The new chill in the air today is like old heroin for me. I sense the woods and leaves and the hillside above BOK and Ezra is grumbling like a crazy fool with a loving grin on her face.

May your days and nights be filled with dreams of magic and wonder, and your heart filled with grace and gratitude. Enjoy your footsteps today, and watch out for all those noisy twigs.

Farewell.

-j