Rock Hammers

Image: Some art I did while moving to The Oaks.

Good morning. It’s 40ish degrees here in Los Angeles, well, it was this morning as I left the oaks. It’s been a rather eventful 2 weeks since the passing of my girl Bella… lets catch up.

Vinyl Artwork: Between losing Bella, The Holidays and moving operations to a new location outside the city, I had to put Vinyl artwork design on hold. I literally have been living out of boxes the last few weeks, which was actually a nice distraction from missing Bella. The thought she’s gone still doesn’t quite register in my head. I suppose once I’m settled, I’ll have to deal with that. The final days of my move are in front of me. I’ll be handing over the old keys to the LEX on Sunday, that Place I finished the Breakers record, and getting settled in the Oaks. Last night I lit the fireplace in the new studio room, a somewhat roomy and holy place. I imagine I’ll finish the artwork there and start to write and record again very soon. The artwork for the breakers vinyl is really close to being completed, or at least handed over to the record label, I just really couldn’t even get to it as I had to pack everything into boxes and bins the last few weeks. I’ll start back up next week. I’ll be pushing to complete as soon as the computers are running again.

Music: I’ve been very inspired musically lately. Lots of song ideas are coming to me. I think the spirits of these oak trees are like lightning rods, channeling things into my subconscious. I’m hearing Zabble again, and seeing chapters of the Hadder tale. I’m imagining the next Breakers record. I almost can’t wait to fire up the boards in the war room. My fingers are tingling and my voice feels stronger and more focused than ever.

Rabbit Tales: We are creatures of habit. Lord knows I am. I dwell in my patterns. I find peace there and tranquility in the things I can control. At the moment I feel like this move to the oaks, as frantic and disruptive as it was to my patterns and peace, was a very needed step in the progression of this “breakers” endeavor that I’m still fully engulfed in. You see, the breakers record is not really just a musical record, it happened as I happened… over time… and the story is still ongoing. The last two weeks I planted some very strange seeds in the ground, it was hard to do… the earth was like cement near these oaks. But I’m a creature of spring as well and I believe the things I’ve done and the choices I’ve made the last two week, during this winter, will blossom into some amazing patterns later in the year. Let me tell you a little story.

One day before I had the dream about Mr. Evermore, I was driving along the Pacific. Years had passed since I was in any kind of regimented vocal training routines. Although I took opera lessons and vocal lessons for years and pursued singing and music most of my life in various forms, my life had spiraled into responsibilities and confusion and regrets. But I had an idea that day, as my drive into Los Angeles was long and very routine, that I would start training my voice again. But training it unlike I ever trained it. I made a choice that day that I would return to that old fire I had, the one who’s embers had dimmed to nothing more than a warm touch. And so slowly… day after day.. month after month… year after year it seemed… along the Pacific… I trained. Like I said, I’m a creature of habbit. Much like Andy Dufresne and his rock hammer ways, I felt that the only thing standing between me and freedom was time. That was long ago now. Why mention this? Well, three days ago I returned to the canyons. I awoke for the first time in a long time to the sound of pre-dawn Owl hoots in the cold darkness. A half moon could be seen through the twisted skeletons of the 500 year old oak trees that drape over my new tower. My breath was a cloud of warm air cutting through the midnight cold of the canyon. I began my ride through the twisted canyon, a planted seed, left and right and left and right until I came upon the PCH and the sweet smell of the pacific. We meet again. The seeds I planted this week, will be sprouting new patterns in my life, patterns that I forecasted as I was digging in the earth. It’s time to train harder. I’ve come back to the place of the wolf. I am the dead rabbit.

Not that I’m a person to preach, to judge or to teach, but I will say, anything you wish to achieve in this earthy realm is simply governed by your daily efforts and the accumulation of those efforts over long periods of time. When the snowy water leaves the mountain tops, it’s doesn’t just arrive at the mouth of the river, it has to find its way… over the pass.… through the canyon… under the ground and past the great tree. It makes its own way as you must. Likes and Follows have nothing to do with it. Stay the course friend… we have time on our side.

Farewell

-j

Bella 12:13:23 - 2:47am

Image: Bella hanging out in Gardena at Light Black Studio's while tracking with TOR during my time at 200 North.

Good morning from LA.

It’s been a rough week for me as my girl Bella has passed away. I’m normally fairly chipper and optimistic about things but it’s been a sad few days. Let me catch you up on some Hadder things.

Bella was a Japanese Tosa Inu. She was my little girl, literally. She gave me a kiss on Wednesday night at the hospital and I said I’ll see you in the morning sweetheart. But the morning never came. I was called back in the middle of the night as her heart stopped. I whispered in her ear as she passed away that night, “I love you girl”. It’s hard to talk about that moment. I remember when she was young, before she weighed 150 lbs, I would pick her up and sit her on the table and she would put her paws on my shoulders and just smile. Later in life I would have to sit in front of her and she would still put her paws on my shoulders drooling on me as she smiled that same smile. She lived with me in the home I lost and then again at 200 North while I was working with the band TOR and also writing Diamonds Hadder music. She became the inspiration for Ezra, the character in my Hadder stories. She was a great companion and I’ll certainly miss our walks together above the clouds.  So begins this next season of my life. For now, Bella will live forever inside the memories and songs of my little breakers record. I do believe I will see her again someday.

Breakers Vinyl artwork: Artwork design for ‘Beyond the Breakers” is on a little hold. It’s a good time to sit back and reflect on all the work I’ve done for the “Beyond the Breakers” double vinyl. Just about all the layout design work is done, it’s just a matter of gathering all the photos from the making of the record for the insert inside the gatefold. I’ve gone way back, gathering images from the home I lost, 200 North, TOR days, #408 and the Lex. It was a “Long Road” making the record and I generally always carry around my DSLR camera, so I have lots of images. Rather than rush the artwork, I thought it was much more important to get the images that tell the story of this record. So far it’s looking great but there are more archives I need to go through to finalize the photo collage. Soon enough it will be done. I was really thinking Bella was going to be here through Christmas, so her passing has thrown a little wrench into my initial Vinyl artwork timelines. I was hoping to complete it all before my move, but it’s looking like that isn’t going to happen. Over the next three weeks I’m leaving the LEX and moving outside the city, returning to the canyons that first inspired this Breakers record, to a place I call “The Oaks”. I suppose I’ll finalize the artwork there over the next few weeks once I get settle.

The oaks and New Things: Soon I’ll be in my new tower under the oaks. I’m very much looking forward to this next season of my life. I think I’ll be writing something special there. Perhaps an extension of the Breakers Record. Aside from wanting to complete my Diamonds Hadder novel there and begin the scoring of that novel and record, I think I still have another 8 songs that have been dancing around in my head this year. Songs that could have perhaps been a part of the breakers record. Songs like “The Rock King” which was based on a mediaeval poem I wrote about a king who built a castle of stone for a queen who betrayed him, or “Out of the Black”,  “Gone”, “Quiet Places” and “The Den at Orchard Park”, a few other songs from the TOR era of my life. Then there is a song actually called “Beyond the Breakers”, a somewhat haunting track similar to the lost reflection from early Crimson Glory, and “Child of the Sun” a song about a strange child who has the power to move the sun and shape the course of a great battle. “The Red Recluse” is another idea I’ve been dabbling with, I think the name speaks for itself.  And last but not least, “Kind Winters”, a song that originally was penned lyrically for the Ramsey/Evermore project but that I might redo into a Diamonds Hadder song, as I really love the poem it was born from. We’ll see how things progress into 2024.

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. The Vinyl will drop in spring on No Remorse Records and a few music videos should start to appear around that time as well. After that it’s rehearsals and writing and hopefully some shows in Europe if I can pull it all together. I had a dream that Ezra came to see me at the oaks. She was running around and drooling all over the place. I was so happy to see her. I think lord Zabble is up to something. I’ll tell you about it later.

“Somewhere,

Between what we give and what we’re holding

Out there

Seems there’s a cost to pay for knowing

Who cares

Is the play really worth the showing?

Still here

Between what we lost and where we’re going"

Farewell

-j

Somewhere between what we lost and where we're going

Image: Extended artwork from the Breakers cover, it might show up on the Vinyl gatefold. Maybe.

Good morning, It’s Monday the 27th of November.

“Remember remember

the 5th of November

Gunpowder treason and plot.

I see no reason

Why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.”

I suppose that’s what I think about when I hear the word November. I won’t be blowing up the King and parliament but I do love a good story. I’m on the cusp of a full Beaver Moon today. It’s out there as we speak… crossing the earth under my feet. With so many little things happening let me give a little Hadder update on this moon day.

Diamonds Hadder Rock Hard interview: On December 7th, I have an interview scheduled with Ludwig Krammer who writes for Germanies Rock Hard magazine. This magazine was started in 1983 and if you like Heavy Metal you know about it. In a world where the digital media monster is trying to eat every paper magazine in the world, Magazines like Rock Hard are standing defiantly in the path of that monster. One might say that I might be one of those people standing beside them with an axe at the ready as well. My love for tradition might be a happy death for me indeed someday. I think we need these things.. paper… ink… film… dust and dirt. To remind us of what was. To honor the past. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share the story of this “Breakers” record in such a magazine. A big thanks to them for reaching out and for offering to spread the word about this thing I call Diamonds Hadder. Look for that interview later in the year. I’ll be sure to post it here as well. God bless the people who stand for something in this world.

Vinyl News: It’s too early to give a definitive date for the release of the Double Vinyl and CD formats of “Beyond the Breakers” on No Remorse Records, but, both physical releases are in production. The art and design phase of production that is. Tracks are also being re-mastered in Europe for each format, plans hatched, and timelines laid out. Let’s just say spring 2024 as that seems to be the safe bet considering general Vinyl production times. I think we are shooting for the Vinyl to be available around the time of KIT 2024, but that’s just wishful thinking for now. We are working on that and I’ll update you along the way as dates become available. Having said all that, my time has been shifted to the Gatefold and Artwork design. Music video production is on halt in LA until that vinyl work is done. Without giving anything away, I hope to include all the important images/photographs and artwork that were created during the making of this record. I’ve said this before, but the record doesn’t stop after the last track was recorded. This record is about the places and things that happened to me during the making of it as much as it’s about the music and words and tracks. It’s my duty somewhat to fill the gatefold with the physical imagery and memories of why this record exists. I’m working on that now.

Bella: Aside from all the Hadder things going on. Lets talk Bella and the Holidays. Bella is my 140lb  Japanese Tosa. She lived with me in that place where the breakers record started. She inspired the Ezra character I often daydream and write about. She is Ezra really. She also lived with me at 200 North for a short time which was a real blessing as most of my days before she arrived were spent talking to the ghost john hadder alone in the dark concrete room in the upper loft of that old building. There was a song called “Hiding in the Dark” on the unreleased “TOR” record that I was working on at 200 north. I suppose you could say it was about me and that place I retreated to after the fires. Anywho, Bella has been fighting Cancer rather defiantly you could say. Chemo treatments are done and now I’m really seeing how strong she is. I mention this simply because I’ll be spending a lot of time with her this holiday. She’s a part of me and a part of this thing that happened to me, called Diamonds Hadder. I often talk about “time” as it relates to various things we do in life… our projects…  our passions… well right now it’s “time” for me to be with her … every time she turns around, I want her to see “I’m there”. I’m hopeful for another year or longer but the reality is that time can be unforgiving and unfortunately unstoppable. I’ll be doing my best to finish up Hadder artwork and music videos during this holiday season with Bella. Let’s hope for more time. If you can, just send some silent good wishes for her. Thanks.

The Oaks: During the making of this record, I’ve moved around a lot. The entire record was tracked in 3 places. It started on the mountain I called home… that place where I awoke… the place where Mr Evermore first found me…. that place that burned to the ground. After the fires I found myself at 200 north, an abandoned and converted paint factory on the eastern side of Los Angeles. This is were I spent some time with the band TOR and crafted the middle section of this record. It’s also where Diamonds Hadder first came to me and where I started crafting the Diamonds Hadder novel I’m working on. Lastly was the Lexington, a small Hollywood studio I rented along with a rather over indulgent rehearsal room #408 on the outskirts of the city. The final tracks were done there between those two “Towers” I called them. Why mention all this, well, I may be moving towers to a new place to finalize everything. A place I call “the oaks”. Somewhere between what I lost and where I’m going. I mention this because I think I might be creating something there, maybe, and I want to make note of this day in “November” just before I arrive there. I think there’s a wolf there I need to talk too. I’ve done all I could do at my little Hollywood Lexington. Now I just need to know how to migrate some hummingbirds. We’ll see how the month plays out.

Before I go, a quick thanks to some new people who have been helping out with Hadder news and things. Dennis Otto at Metal Inside, Thomas Meyns at Metal1, Abattoir at Metal Storm, and Luca Avalon at Heavy Metal Webzine. It's the little things in life that matter more than you know. I truely appreciate the help.

Farewell out there friends.

-j